4. Ask for joint problem solving.
Lauren also didn’t assume she had the all the answers. She could have told Jimmy what to do. She certainly had some ideas. Here, Lauren moved into coaching Jimmy by helping him to consider more than one option.
Sometimes you don’t have more than one option, but often you do. If you can consider at least three options, your solution will be stronger for it.
Feedback Works Regardless of the Issue
You might think that this type of feedback works for only work-related issues. However, we also have seen this kind of feedback work for people who don’t bathe regularly, who have bad breath, and who sneeze into their hands before a handshake—in other words, all the interpersonal issues that make you say, "Ick!"
When you want to provide this kind of feedback, say, “You may not realize this, but you just sneezed into that hand. I don't want to get sick, so I'll wait until you wash your hands to shake." The other person almost always says, "Oh, I didn't realize! Let me wash with soap and be right back!" Chances are quite good the other person did not realize.
Getting Started
Somewhere in your life—either at work or at home—there is someone who needs feedback. Does your pair partner eat Cheetos while he's got the keyboard? Did your manager come to the office with a nasty cold rather than taking a sick day? If you don’t talk to them about the effects of their behavior on you, then they might never realize that there’s an issue. Remember that feedback is not always negative! If your son emptied the dishwasher instead of putting his dirty glass in the sink, let him know how much you appreciate it!
About the author
Lisamarie Babik is a practice leader in Ann Arbor, Michigan. She is an oft sought-after speaker for conferences and professional organizations who, if you let her, will talk your ear off about interpersonal communication, team dynamics, and the burgeoning world of "agile project management." You can contact her at lisamarie.babik@gmail.com.
About the author
Johanna Rothman, known as the “Pragmatic Manager,” helps organizational leaders see problems and risks in their product development. She helps them recognize potential “gotchas,” seize opportunities, and remove impediments. Johanna was the Agile 2009 conference chair. She is the technical editor for Agile Connection and the author of these books:
- Manage Your Job Search
- Hiring Geeks That Fit
- Manage Your Project Portfolio: Increase Your Capacity and Finish More Projects
- The 2008 Jolt Productivity award-winning Manage It! Your Guide to Modern, Pragmatic Project Management
- Behind Closed Doors: Secrets of Great Management
- Hiring the Best Knowledge Workers, Techies & Nerds: The Secrets and Science of Hiring Technical People
Johanna is working on a book about agile program management. She writes columns for Stickyminds.com and projectmanagementcom and blogs on her website, jrothman.com, as well on createadaptablelife.com.
