Captain Composite

of the autoclave and on it rode Captain Composite!

Captain Composite turned out to be the most junior member of the project management staff, who had been reluctantly coerced into the role, proving once and for all that "it" really does roll all the way downhill. He was sitting on a large wooden throne, which had been spray painted gold, and he was wearing a skin tight purple velour jump suit with a black mask. On his chest were a couple of foot-high letters in green: CC. He was carrying a large, ceremonial golden key to the facility that he was to present to the CEO of the company.

At the last moment before the door rolled aside, fifty pounds of dry ice had been dropped into a bucket of water at Captain Composite's feet. Thick, impressive smoke billowed from the bucket, shrouding the purple-clad hero. Alongside the vehicle, attempting to look very inconspicuous, was the consultant.

It is always a good idea when running a test to make the test environment as close to the deliverable conditions as possible. The AGV had never been run with the dry ice before. This was yet another example of a small, last-minute change.

The consultant drove the vehicle forward. Suddenly, the vehicle (and Ethel Mermen) stopped! Red emergency lights started flashing all around the vehicle as the alarm sounded.

"God bless Americ-...Beep!...Beep!...Beep!"

The consultant frantically pushed buttons on the control box, resetting the emergency stop. The AGV started with a jerk, rolled forward two feet, only to stop again!

"God bless Americ-...Beep!...Beep!...Beep!"

The expectant smiles were disappearing from the faces in the crowd and were quickly being replaced with worried frowns.

Once again the consultant frantically pushed buttons. Again, the AGV started with a jerk and rolled forward, then stopped. Captain Composite looked down from his golden throne in obvious alarm.

"God bless Americ-...Beep!...Beep!...Beep!"

Worry was replaced with anger on the faces of the dignitaries. What was wrong with this multimillion dollar AGV system, anyway? The only representative from the vendor -- the president -- later stated, "I looked around for a hole to crawl into, but none was available."

The flashing emergency lights lit the dense fog with an eerie red glow. Suddenly, the consultant realized the AGV has side-collision photo-eye detectors. The dense fog from the twenty pounds of dry ice was blocking the photo-eye!

The consultant lunged for the bucket and kicked it off the AGV. The bucket and fifty pounds of smoking dry ice went skittering everywhere.

The consultant reset the emergency stop. The dulcet tones of Ethel Mermen resumed. The AGV rolled up to the reviewing stand, and a much shaken Captain Composite presented the ceremonial gold key to the stern visage of the CEO.

Well, I don't have to tell you that the AGVs were put underneath the project management microscope after this little faux pas. Word came down from upper management to "straighten out this AGV mess right away!" The AGV system was viewed as a Jonah, and for months afterward, anything that went wrong in the facility was blamed on the AGV system.

* * * * *

What lessons can be gleaned from this fiasco? First of all, no one involved thought to perform a risk assessment, even though they were done regularly on the project. Why did they deviate from their process? Because this demonstration was not considered an important part of the project.

The most important thing was the function of the product - moving the tail section of an airplane. The demonstration was a frivolity, an afterthought that had nothing