How to Resolve Disputes So Everyone Wins


can benefit. If you're determined to persist until you win, you may succeed, but you'll pay a price as you build a reputation as someone who's difficult to deal with. After all, what does it say about you if the only way you can resolve a dispute in your favor is by bludgeoning the other person into submission?

Dare to Try Some New Behaviors
If you have tended to react to disagreements loudly or belligerently, dare to give the above suggestions a try. The next time someone provokes you, take a deep breath, pause, and make a commitment to yourself to remain cool. Then use these suggestions and use them some more until they become second nature. If you treat people in a respectful, let's-figure-this-out-together manner-even when you disagree with them-you'll save wear and tear on yourself and your relationships. In the process, you may find your differences aren't so major after all.

About the author

Naomi Karten's picture Naomi Karten

Naomi Karten is a highly experienced speaker and seminar leader who draws from her psychology and IT backgrounds to help organizations improve customer satisfaction, manage change, and strengthen teamwork. She has delivered seminars and keynotes to more than 100,000 people internationally. Naomi's newest books are Presentation Skills for Technical Professionals and Changing How You Manage and Communicate Change. Her other books and ebooks include Managing Expectations, Communication Gaps and How to Close Them, and How to Survive, Excel and Advance as an Introvert. Readers have described her newsletter, Perceptions & Realities, as lively, informative, and a breath of fresh air. She is a regular columnist for When not working, Naomi's passion is skiing deep powder. Contact her at or via her Web site,

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