Naomi Karten specializes in helping companies succeed in their projects. In this column, however, she gives tongue-in-cheek advice on how to make a project fail. Read on to see if these steps to failure are part of your organization's modus operandi.
Imagine that you've been put in charge of a mighty important project. Imagine further that you're allergic to success and will do anything to avoid it. What can you do to ensure that the project doesn't just fail, but (just to be safe) fails miserably? Here are ten suggestions:
1. Abbreviate the planning process
Planning is boring. It takes too long, and diverts attention from doing real work. Besides, there's nothing to show for it, so name the project, sketch some squiggles on a scratch pad, and get going. There's no need to strategize every little detail. Everything will fall into place in its own time.
2. Don't ask "what if?"
What if we have staff turnover during the project? What if some anticipated business changes actually come to pass? What if the other groups on our critical path perceive priorities differently from the way we do? Hypothetical possibilities are great for hypothetical projects, but this project is real. Just focus on the here and now, and you'll be fine.
3. Minimize customer involvement
Customers just slow things down. Anyway, they don't know what they want, so why bother asking them? Do your best to avoid customer input, and don't waste time with customers clarifying project direction, scope, and expectations. You can't afford such trivial pursuits when you've got a deadline to meet.
4. Select team members by the "hey, you" method
It doesn't really matter who is on the project team. If the people you initially assign prove too slow, you can always add more. Don't worry about the learning curve; they can teach each other. If progress is still too slow, reorganize the team and watch energy levels soar.
5. Work people long and hard
People who work a normal workweek aren't invested in the project. Anyway, people who work weekends get out of mowing the lawn, chauffeuring the kids, and entertaining the in-laws. There's something wrong with a deadline if people can meet it without any overtime.
6. Don't inform management of problems
Managers have better things to do than be concerned with what and how you're doing. If you're going to bother them with a problem, wait till it's a real doozy. Then spring it on them. Don't worry, they can handle it. After all, that's what management is paid for.