Tom: Well, I'm worried about writing and testing those calls. We're already on a really tight schedule.
Jason: Can you tell me more about that?
Tom: The project manager is sweating the deadline. We just got hit with a big new feature, and we don't need one more thing to make us late.
Jason: Oh, so your concern is that the extra coding and testing will make you miss your project dates.
Tom: Yep, I don't see how we can add this to the plate.
Jason: I see. Well, what if we talk to the project manager about the tradeoffs and see if we can shift something around to make this work?
Tom: Well, all right. I'll agree to have the conversation with the project manager.
Okay, so maybe Cindy would need Prozac to be this mellow. But most people will hear more and be willing to cooperate when they feel like you have heard their concerns and understand that your goals intersect with their goals.
Here's what Jason did:
- When Jason approached Tom, he checked to make sure it was a good time to walk through the design before he started.
- Jason stated his goal explicitly, and tied it to something they both cared about, customer satisfaction.
- When Jason heard Tom's objections, he asked for more information rather than starting to explain his position.
- He acknowledged Tom's concern, and obtained Tom's agreement that he'd heard the concern correctly.
- He showed his willingness to help Tom overcome that concern by talking to the project manager.
So what's your IQ? What strategies do you use to work through and with people? When have they worked best, and when have they backfired?