When things go awry, it's easy to slip into a Fault-Finding, Finger-Pointing (FFFP) frame of mind. After all, if everyone else did what they were supposed to, the situation you're now facing wouldn't have happened. But before concluding that someone else is to blame, it might pay to ask: Could there be a reasonable explanation for this situation -one that would cause me to see this situation in a positive light?

I'm reminded of a near-FFFP experience I had at a hotel at which I was presenting a multi-day workshop. Breakfast was provided for class participants from 7:00 to 8:30 in a room we had reserved for this purpose. The catering department had instructions to bring any remaining coffee to our meeting room in time for our 8:30 start time each day.

During previous workshops, the catering staff had been consistently attentive, cheerful and punctual. So too on the first two days of this workshop. But on the third day, 8:30 came and went and no coffee.

I Brake for Coffee

I began the session. Fifteen minutes later, still no coffee. The I-need-my-caffeine-and-I-need-it-NOW contingent was becoming restless.

As minutes passed, I started slipping into an FFFP frame of mind. Clearly, something had gone wrong, but what? Staff absences? The kitchen burning down? Or had they forgotten us

The last thing I imagined was an explanation that demonstrated the catering staff's superb service orientation. Can you guess?

Moments later, Ted, the head catering honcho, poked his head into the classroom and with his usual smile announced that he had our coffee. And then he explained his delayed delivery. He said he didn't want to remove the coffee service from our breakfast room while two members of our group were still in the room eating breakfast.

Huh? What two people? Everyone was present in the classroom.

Table for Two

Then I realized what had happened. Two gutsy guests decided to help themselves to the rest of our breakfast goodies. Maybe they knew the food wasn't intended for them but figured, "Why not?" Maybe they thought the hotel generously provided a nutritious breakfast for its guests. Maybe ... who knows?

The important point was that the delinquent coffee delivery wasn't a service snafu at all. With typical thoughtfulness, Ted had allowed people he assumed were class participants to finish their breakfasts rather than snatching the coffee away in order to deliver it to the classroom. And he had graciously allowed them to take their time, even though it delayed his scheduled clean-up of the room.

Caution: Caring Service Ahead

For me, this was an aha-and-a-half: a twist in the story's ending that turned my encroaching FFFP mindset into an appreciation of caring service.

I now use this experience as a reminder that sometimes, when it looks like someone is at fault (someone else, that is), there can actually be a reasonable explanation, and even an uplifting one. It helps me keep that pesky FFFP frame of mind in check.