like to think, then talk. So when you ask a question, give the other person some time to answer, pause, and count to ten. Wait patiently. The other person will answer.
The Other Side of the Desk
What can you do when your manager doesn't leave room to get a word in edgewise?
Based on what I've seen, many people, like the 95 percent talk manager I observed, are unaware of that they are dominating the conversation. Some managers are uncomfortable with silence. Others assume that since the other person isn't jumping in, they don't have anything to say.
The trouble is, when you don't share the same style, jumping vocally can be difficult. Try telegraphing your desire to speak in other ways:
- Send an email ahead of time with the topics you'd like to cover. Bring a copy with you to the meeting. Before the manager builds up a head of steam, gently push the topic list across the desk.
- Lean forward, open your mouth as if you are about to speak, and raise your hand slightly. Clear your throat, then begin speaking.
- Wait until your manager takes a breath (everyone has to inhale sooner or later). Start talking.
- Raise your index finger and place it in front of your lips. Most people recognize this as a sign you want them to be quiet for a while.
- If you are comfortable jumping into the monologue, say something like, "Excuse me, I have some information I think you need to know." Then keep talking.
Managers need excellent communication skills and that doesn't just mean talking. Part of good communication involves knowing when to ask a question and when to be silent and listen.